Sad, but Excited

Ok so I haven't updated this in like 7 months. But I've been super busy and I kinda forgot I even had a blog lol. But today, I was bored so I read through all my posts. And in the one called Depressed from like exactly a year ago, I was sad because I was home and my vacation to Disney World was over. And I said that I would make sure I went back in 2009 even if my parents didn't want to. Well, I am incredibly happy to say that I was right. I am going back this summer for a week!...after I go to New York for a week! Yep, we're going to New York and Florida! We already have our hotels and stuff booked and we're staying at the Westin Times Square in New York and our super nice timeshare in Florida. Oh! And we're also spending 2 nights down in Tampa Bay before we go to Disney World so we can go to Busch Gardens! But anyway, we bought tickets to see The Lion King on Broadway in New York! Our seats are in the 14th row in the orchestra center (which means the very center of the theater)! But yeah, I'm really really excited for that vacation. It's gonna be bomb!!!!! But, right now I'm also really really sad. I just got back from my amazing vacation to Atlantis in the Bahamas. It was amazing! We got to swim with dolphins and I got to stand on one's nose and it pushed me around the lagoon thing. It was so cool! And Atlantis had this waterpark thing with all these slides and one was an 85 degree angle down a 6 story drop, then it went through the shark tank. I rode it 7 times lol. But yeah, it had like this water roller coaster and stuff like that. It was great. Oh oh oh! And Atlantis has the only 2 manta rays in captivity in the Western Hemisphere, so we got to see those. They were absolutely amazing and beautiful. And the resort was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. So overall, I have to say that it was the best vacation I have ever been on! But now it's over and I'm sad. Not that we had to leave (I am sad because of that, though), but I'm mostly sad about actually being home. I would rather be stuck at an airport somewhere now than here at home. Because everything is so stressful here. I mean, on vacation I got to relax and get away from the real world for a week. But now at home, it's like I have to come back to reality and face the drama at school and all the homework and tests I have. So I'm not incredibly sad that I'm not in the Bahamas anymore, I'm just sad that I'm here at home. I hate this place. I'm happy when I'm anywhere but here. So to try and be happy, I'm focusing on my next vacation and trying to plan and research that. But I just realized something: I am hardly ever truly happy here at home. Most of my happiness is just an act I put on so people won't ask me what's wrong. The only times I'm happy here at home are when I'm hanging out with Katie and Shannon (Love you guys!) and when I'm doing something out of the ordinary like going to the zoo or something. And I've realized that my life has no real purpose. I do the same stuff all the time. I stress myself out about going to school, when the purpose of school is to get a career. And the purpose of getting a career is to support your family. And we do all that and stress ourselves out about it...when we are all going to die and go to the same place anyway! So what is the real purpose of life? To be happy? I guess so, but when I'm here, I'm not happy. And because I've realized all this, I am now going to a therapist. I don't know if it's helping me yet, but I hope it does. Anyway, I'm just going to spend the next few months counting down the days until my next vacation. It's 88 days from today, which means I will only brush my teeth 176 more times, get my eyebrows waxed 4 more times, get my hair cut 2 more times, and go out to dinner 24 more times until then. That's how much I'm looking forward to it. And I'll be gone for 18 days, so it'll last a while, which is good.